WayToGoal! - The Professional Career Fulfillment Site

Author:	host	Created:	Thursday, June 05, 2008
All entries for all Pillars of Career Fulfillment: Express passion through work and live a more fulfilling career

LISTEN UP

By Doreen Amatelli on Thursday, July 24, 2008

You may have heard that effective communication is critical to building and maintaining good personal and professional relationships. This is very important since most of us spend 70% of our day communicating, and 45% of that time is spent listening. A great way to build better relationships with others is to improve our listening skills. Generally, there are 3 levels of listening that have different types of responses. A person who listens at Level 1 listens for how to apply what the other person is saying. A Level 2 listener responds with respect to the thought process of the other person. The most effective listening level is Level 3. At this level, the listener reflects the feelings behind the words of the other person.

Here are 2 examples with 3 different responses. As you read think about which sounds more like your typical response?

Example #1:

”I am planning to take a trip to Europe next summer. I have been saving up for a long time and I can’t wait to go.”

Response

Level 1

I remember when I traveled to Europe. I had a lot of fun. I really liked Rome and Paris.

Level 2

That’s great. What airline are you taking? What’s your itinerary? Make sure your passport is up to date.

Level 3

It sounds like you are very excited about this trip and really looking forward to going.

Example #2:

I didn’t get the job. I had a great interview and I thought they really liked me. I don’t know what happened.

Response

Level 1

That’s a bummer. Maybe you didn’t dress appropriately. I know the last time I didn’t get a job that I wanted I thought it might have been because I wasn’t wearing the right suit.

Level 2

Sorry to hear that. Did you mention your experience working in that industry? Maybe you could call them to find out why you didn’t get the job.

Level 3

It is disappointing to not get the result you expected after so much preparation for the interview. It also sounds like you may be a little bit confused about why you didn’t get the job.

Over the next few weeks, try listening and responding at level 3 with the people who are most important to you in your life. Notice any changes in the conversation or even in the relationship.

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6. Achieve Excellent Personal Performance and Success

30 DAYS TO CHANGE THE REST OF YOUR LIFE

By Doreen Amatelli on Thursday, July 24, 2008

5 Steps to Set and Achieve Your Goals

With this 5-Part E-Course, You Will Get:

Greater clarity around your goals and which goals to pursue first
Simple techniques to define your goals and put them into action
An actionable design plan that maps your goals, milestones and specific action steps
5 complete lessons delivered right to your email inbox
Direct support as you go through each step from Doreen Amatelli, Certified Professional Development Coach and other students of this course via the discussion board on www.waytogoal.com
Free bonus

Click here... http://waytogoal-com.web06.winsvr.net/portals/0/30_Day_goals/Goal_Setting_Ecourse.html

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4. Take Consistent and Persistent Action

IT'S ALL WHO YOU KNOW

By Doreen Amatelli on Wednesday, July 23, 2008

In my early 20’s, I hated networking. When I joined AT&T I thought the idea of using your relationships to get something was deceitful and dishonest. Read on…..

Jim (name changed), was an “idea man” and one of the best networkers (or con artists) I ever met. Jim was a co-worker who was hired into our marketing department from sales. Something struck me about him. Every time I had to meet with him about a work-related issue, he was always willing to talk with me—about everything except work! Furthermore, I always seem to leave our meetings with the responsibility of the action item. After a few more meetings like this, I realized what he was doing. When I confronted him, he replied, “I’m not much of an implementer.” Well, at least he was aware of his weaknesses. Jim got this job through his co-worker, who he used to work with in the sales field, who also was just hired into our department. Hmmm!

I quickly discovered that many people who were offered career opportunities were not, in my opinion, better at their job than I was. In fact, many of them were less qualified. So, how do these people survive or even thrive in a company?

Well, it’s been said that people will do business with whom they know and like. In fact, if two people applied for a position or bid on a project with the exact same qualifications and background, the one who would most likely get the job would be the one who is better liked by the hiring manager.

Look at it another way. Regardless of the person’s ability to do the job, would you rather work with someone you like or someone you didn’t?

So, is networking a bad thing? If you consciously choose to connect with your contacts in order to obtain something, is that dishonest? I guess it would be if you didn’t have the substance behind you to support your claims or if you didn’t offer information or opportunities for others to network with your contacts.

Networks are present in all facets of our lives—our brains are made of neural networks, businesses like MCI offered a long-distance discount service called “Friends and Family”. And, probably the biggest network that revolutionized new ways and opportunities for sharing information is the internet. I recently was invited to attend a virtual network that, when invited, you are linked with the people with whom your host knows and with whom they know, and so on. Through this medium, I have met new business associates and reconnected with past co-workers.

Over the years in corporate America and now in my own business, I realize that networking is especially valuable and fulfilling to both those with whom I network and those who want to network with me.

In this life, we are all connected anyway (by at most 6 degrees, I have discovered), so why not encourage and strengthen these connections when we can. Needless to say, I no longer hate networking!

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5. Continuously Learn and Adapt

IMAGINE THAT!

By Doreen Amatelli on Tuesday, July 08, 2008

A client of mine was being harassed on a daily basis about an issue related to a personal relationship. He was being harassed not by anyone in particular, but by a voice inside his head and the nagging/sick feeling that often accompanied it. The relationship issue weighed heavily on his mind and although he tried he could not find any relief nor see any reasonable solution to his problem.

After going through the following exercise called “The Perfect Day Technique”, he captured a glimpse of a small light at the end of the tunnel and was able to take action after months of stagnation.

If you are struggling with a voice or nagging issue, you may want to try this exercise. The best time to try this is either before you go to sleep at night or just before getting out of bed in the morning. You may want to tape record yourself or have a trusted friend or coach guide you through this process.

1) Find a quiet area where you know you can't be disturbed for 15-20 minutes.

2) Take a few deep breaths in and slowly release each one. Starting at the top of your

head, relax each muscle in your body. You should be in a very relaxed state.

3) Start the tape (or have someone guide you). Imagine you have just woken up from a very

restorative sleep. During that sleep something magical has happened. Whatever problem

you are faced with has been completely solved overnight. You don't know how it happened,

but it did. You awake with a feeling that everything has been solved without a doubt.
* What do you see, hear, feel around you?

* What are you thinking?

* As you go through your day, where do you go?

* What do you do?

* Who is there?

* What are they doing/saying?

* What are you doing/saying?

* What else do you notice?

* What are you feeling? (specifically name the feelings in your mind).

4) When you believe you have been detailed enough in your description, slowly take a deep

breath in and release. Slowly open your eyes. As soon as you can, write down or talk

about what you experienced. Be as specific as possible.

(This exercise is property of the Institute of Professional Empowerment Coaching, 2001).

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1. Ignite Your True Passion

COOL LINK: FIND OUT WHAT IS YOUR LEVEL OF CAREER INTENSITY

By Doreen Amatelli on Sunday, June 22, 2008

What level of intensity do you want in your job? Is it more intense with increased learning experiences, more extensive travel, more responsibility - for situations like when you are young or when your spouse wants to stay home to raise children? Or do you want to "dial down" the intensity for slower career advancement, reduced salary, and restricted opportunities when raising small children or aging parents?

I just happened to pick up this book while waiting for my train the other day - Mass Career Customization written by two executive professionals Cathleen Benko and Anne Weisberg

It talks about how to think differently about talent in the workplace. The authors describe a new model and vision for career progression that will likely transform organizations

Take this interactive exercise to find out what your career path has looked like or how you would like it to look...

http://www.masscareercustomization.com/interactive.html

Share with others your results. Please post your comments by clicking the comments link for this blog.

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2. Design Your Future Dream Career Portrait

WORK/LIFE BALANCE IS A MYTH... OR IS IT?

By Doreen Amatelli on Friday, June 20, 2008

Have you ever had a true balance between your work and your life outside of work? I’ve heard many people use the term “work/life balance” over and over again as they struggle to find it. I have heard it most often used when a person wants to work less and spend more time with their family.

Is obtaining, or more importantly maintaining, that “balance” truly possible? And what are we trying to balance between? When I think of trying to achieve a “balance” between work and life, I often feel frustrated that I have to constantly make choices between working and having a life! Does this mean that when I’m at work, I don’t have a life? And, conversely, when I am living then I am not working? This sounds a bit crazy to me. Just look at your to-do list for any given day. I bet you have some to-do’s that are work related and some that are personal and both need to get done today.

Here is a metaphor that comes to my mind when I think of the myth of “work/life balance”. Think of a see-saw at a playground where one person sits on either side. As one person propels him/herself up the other one goes down and vice versa. If you have ever been on one, you know how difficult it is to balance the see-saw and keep it steady - it’s nearly impossible. Even if you do balance for a fleeting moment, trying to maintain it for more than a couple of seconds is futile. The very fact that the see-saw moves up and down is what makes it fun! Life, is not static. Life is movement, growth, change.

Let’s compare the perspective of work/life “balance” with a different perspective called work/life “flow”.

1. First, imagine work/life “balance”

Ask yourself what balancing feels like?
What images come to mind?
What are you thinking to yourself?
What are you feeling when you are balancing?
How long do you stay in balance?

2. Next, imagine being in “flow”

Visualize your work-life and personal-life as being in “flow” with each other.
What images come to mind?
What are you thinking to yourself?
What are you feeling?
How long can you maintain this flow?

3. Repeat

Go back and forth between these two perspectives until you can see a difference.
Which one do you prefer?
Which one feels better or less stressful?
Jot down your thoughts to help you sort this out and log any action items you might want to pursue.

Now, the next time someone tells you they are having a tough time finding the holy grail called “work/life balance” you can offer them a different perspective.

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3. Develop a Strong Mental Mindset

IT ALL STARTED...

By host on Thursday, June 12, 2008

Eighteen years ago, after 6 months at my first job out of college at a major US corporation, I went to a retirement party for a man who had devoted over 30 years with the company. He said that the morning of his first day of retirement, he felt as if an enormous weight had been lifted from his shoulders!

Why was it that this man who had a pretty successful career financially had to wait more than 30 years to finally be happy?

I had learned at any early age that getting a job with a large corporation was considered success. My father had worked for another US corporation for over 40 years. Many of my family members worked for large companies. I was doing what I thought was going to make me happy. I had a "good job", a new car, and independence. But I wasn't happy. Why?

Spending more than two-thirds of my waking day at work, Monday through Friday and very often on weekends, I thought I by following the path that others thought I should follow, I will eventually be happy! But, that day never came. I didn't really understand or care about the company's mission. There was less and less time for fun and family. The thought that I would have to spend the next 30-40 years at a job I ultimately disliked was significantly less than satisfactory!

I wanted a work life that I enjoyed, where I was making a contribution, that was in alignment with my personal values and passions. But what was that?

Fast forward 12 years... I had an even better job, making more money, traveling all over the world, living in a nice home. But I still wasn't happy. I felt no one could sympathize. My husband didn't understand; he was more miserable than I was. I even felt guilty for complaining since from the outside I had everything that anyone could want. There seemed no one around that I could talk to and definitely not my boss!

But one day while I was flying first class to Paris for the ump-teenth time (and hating every minute of it - I know, you're saying to yourself right now... "is she crazy?")... that day I decided to make another choice. I decided I would no longer just go to work aimlessly for that almighty paycheck striving for a promotion that I didn't really want. I made a commitment to myself that I would find out what my true purpose was and find a career where I could express my purpose!

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