One of my former clients has agreed to allow me to share this excerpt of a recent coaching session.
Client: I have made great progress in some areas of my life but not in others. What I have truly realized, however, is the power of focus.
Coach: What do you mean the power of focus?
Client: I mean that whatever I put my attention to (e.g. job, family) for an extended period of time (days, weeks, months), that’s what develops and gets manifested in my life.
Coach: Wow! That sounds like you have an amazing ability to really make things happen in your life.
Client: Yes, in one way I feel confident that I am able to do this. On the other hand, it’s burning me out because it I need to exert a lot of mental effort in order to accomplish all the things I want to. Not only do I have to focus for a prolonged period of time on something but I have to change my focus often to be sure everything in my life gets done. I feel like if I let up for one minute, then the project won’t keep moving ahead or ultimately get completed.
Coach: Why do you think you need to work so hard putting forth this mental effort to accomplish all these things?
Client: I believe that the more hard work (effort) you put toward something, the greater the results and reward. And I want to do it all.
Coach: Hmmm… do you always have to put in so much effort for so long to reap the rewards?
Client: For the most part, yes. But there are some great things that have happened in my life for which I cannot explain how they occurred. I didn’t really put too much effort into them. I guess it was luck.
Coach: Luck? Or co-creation?
Let me explain. When you plant a garden, initially you put a lot of focus preparing the soil, planting the seeds and adding water. Once that’s done, you allow nature to take its course and thus shift your focus to other things in your life and less focus on the garden. After some time when you notice the seedlings breaking through the earth you shift your focus back to the garden for a period of time to tend to the weeding, fertilization, etc. That’s co-creating your reality. You are working in conjunction with other forces in the world to create what you want—i.e. a fruitful garden.
In what areas of your life are you similar to the client above...always putting so much effort and mental strain toward a project, your employee, your teenager, your spouse and never letting go?
What if you did let go? Shifting your attention completely away from it for awhile?
What do you think would happen? Would everything fall apart? Or would the other forces in the world step up and do its part to co-create your fruitful garden?
This week try letting go of just one thing that you’ve been focusing on. Maybe something that hasn’t given you the results you desire yet. Allow nature to take its course for one week then journal about what happens including your thoughts and feelings.