Watching my son's ice hockey practice (all 9-10 year old boys) I recently observed an interesting drill. Each player would skate in a figure eight on the ice while stick-handling to keep the puck in control. This all seemed very normal and challenging on its own merit.
However, the coach added a higher level of difficulty which, I thought, would make or break the players' spirits. As the players skated around, the coach would pick up full-sized, bright orange caution cones (you know the ones you see on highway construction sites) and throw them at the players!
Let me paint a little picture for you. These cones are nearly half the size of most of these young boys, many of whom have trouble skating on their skates as it is. As a parent, you could probably guess I was at first shocked at the seemingly aggressive nature of this drill.
But, as I watched the players fall down, get back up again, skate some more and laugh, I saw how they learned to anticipate, use their peripheral vision, strengthen their stance to resist being knocked down, skate out of the way and avoid a cone as it came flying at them and most of all be excited, engaged and have lots of fun.
I realized what a great metaphor this drill is for real life. Some real life "caution cones" that can get in your way can include illness, car breakdowns or transportation delays, job offer rejections, lost jobs, sales or customers, low income flow, going off your healthy diet, etc.
Whether you are focusing on the individual tasks and activities of your larger goals or just going about your daily routine, take a look at how you are handling those "caution cones" that get thrown at you.
Ask yourself...
a) Is this an "obstacle?" - a minor disruption that I can simply avoid or detour, or
b) Is it a "roadblock?" - a strong emotional charge or feeling, often negative about this situation, event, person that stops me from moving ahead
If your answer is an "obstacle", great! Keep doing what you are doing and look for another way around, over, under or through the obstacle. No worries, no anxieties, just take the detour.
If your answer is a "roadblock", that's common and can get in people's way, but it can be overcome. The following is called the SWISH Process (a popular NLP process) that can help you.
1- Take a few moments, close your eyes, and take a few slow deep breaths in and out.
2- Watch your "obstacle movie": Replay the situation including the obstacle, as if you were watching a movie, in your mind. What does the obstacle movie look like (visual)? What are the sounds (auditory)? What does it feel like in your body (kinesthetic)? How big/ how loud/how strong is it? Play it from beginning all the way to the end two times through.
3 - Choose a "powerful scene": Envision a scene when you feel the opposite of what you are feeling when faced with your obstacle. This can be a scene from a past situation or a potential scene from a future scenario, anything that gives you pleasant, joyful, wonderful feelings. Describe in your mind that feeling as fully and completely as you can... what are you doing, seeing, hearing, feeling? Make it as colorful, bright and big as you can.
4 - SWISH process: Rerun your original "obstacle movie" (from number 2 above) a third time, but right before the point where that yucky emotional feeling overtakes you, take a snapshot of that obstacle scene and hold it. Then envision a pinhole in the center of that obstacle scene and quickly see your "powerful scene" flash through that pinhole big and bright right in front of you.... Say "SWISH!" as your "powerful scene" overtakes your obstacle scene and fills you with all of those pleasant, wonderful feelings.
5- Repeat the SWISH process (number 4) three more times, each time getting faster, until you can only feel those pleasant feelings and not the yucky ones.
2a (Optional) - While you are running through your "obstacle movie", you can optionally ask that emotional charge what message it's trying to tell you? In other words, why do you think you are feeling this way about the situation/obstacle at this time? There may be lesson here that you need to hear or understand. Keep asking yourself this question over again. You may just get a glimpse of a memory, a symbol, anything. Once you have the message, the emotional charge may dissipate on its own. Then continue from number 3 above.
Repeat this process as many times as necessary. We don't have to let simple obstacles become emotional roadblocks preventing us from traveling on our road to success.
I hope you enjoyed this month's newsletter. I look forward to seeing/hearing you at one of my upcoming events.