Have you ever had a true balance between your work and your life outside of work? I’ve heard many people use the term “work/life balance” over and over again as they struggle to find it. I have heard it most often used when a person wants to work less and spend more time with their family.Is obtaining, or more importantly maintaining, that “balance” truly possible? And what are we trying to balance between? When I think of trying to achieve a “balance” between work and life, I often feel frustrated that I have to constantly make choices between working and having a life! Does this mean that when I’m at work, I don’t have a life? And, conversely, when I am living then I am not working? This sounds a bit crazy to me. Just look at your to-do list for any given day. I bet you have some to-do’s that are work related and some that are personal and both need to get done today.
Here is a metaphor that comes to my mind when I think of the myth of “work/life balance”. Think of a see-saw at a playground where one person sits on either side. As one person propels him/herself up the other one goes down and vice versa. If you have ever been on one, you know how difficult it is to balance the see-saw and keep it steady - it’s nearly impossible. Even if you do balance for a fleeting moment, trying to maintain it for more than a couple of seconds is futile. The very fact that the see-saw moves up and down is what makes it fun! Life, is not static. Life is movement, growth, change.
Let’s compare the perspective of work/life “balance” with a different perspective called work/life “flow”.
1. First, imagine work/life “balance”
- Ask yourself what balancing feels like?
- What images come to mind?
- What are you thinking to yourself?
- What are you feeling when you are balancing?
- How long do you stay in balance?
2. Next, imagine being in “flow”
- Visualize your work-life and personal-life as being in “flow” with each other.
- What images come to mind?
- What are you thinking to yourself?
- What are you feeling?
- How long can you maintain this flow?
3. Repeat
- Go back and forth between these two perspectives until you can see a difference.
- Which one do you prefer?
- Which one feels better or less stressful?
- Jot down your thoughts to help you sort this out and log any action items you might want to pursue.
Now, the next time someone tells you they are having a tough time finding the holy grail called “work/life balance” you can offer them a different perspective.